Atlanta City Singles

Single women in Atlanta are beautiful, sharp, and clever. They can also be difficult to approach at times. A lot of my male friends say that there are so many women with negative attitudes, rude behavior, and some have way too much “spice” for their taste. I consider myself to be a friendly and flirtatious person for the most part. I can admit that if a guy has an air of arrogance that surpasses confidence, I can become antagonistic. Only when I am provoked though! I think that single women often try to weed out guys that try to hit on them in a sleazy way. I have to wonder why men won’t tweak their own attitudes to get better responses from the women they approach.

I read somewhere that dating is like getting a degree in human behavior and mating rituals. For instance, some men consider their propensity to behave like a jerk, insult women, or challenge her as a tried and true wooing technique. Now to some degree, it can be effective because some women love the verbal sparring, mental stimulation, and sexual tension that can build from that type of interaction. It’s not unlike the fascinating exchange between Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy in many of their films. It makes sense that their on-screen chemistry was partly attributed to their own private romance off-screen. They are one of the best on-screen couples in film!

A Chick Whisperer, like a horse whisperer, knows how to communicate using respect, gentleness, and firmness to gain the confidence of a woman. Sometimes, these are women who have been traumatized before, perhaps by some jacka uh, I mean, some man. They start to become somewhat jaded and cynical. I know you may be thinking: women compared to wild horses is not exactly politically correct. Well, maybe not, but I think it accurately describes how some men think that strong women should be,  well.. tamed and trained. Hey if the guys can be called dogs, a horse isn’t so bad, right?

I remember an episode from Sex and The City that illustrated this concept. Carrie felt as if Mr. Big preferred to be with a woman who was more demure, amenable, and quiet. She thought this was the reason why their relationship didn’t last. Of course, her girlfriends supported this notion, and they used the film, The Way We Were as an example. The logic was that for some men, it is easier to be with a woman who didn’t challenge him too much. Someone with whom the relationship would not require work. So Carrie divided women into “Katy Girls” (strong-willed) and “Others” (demure). A Chick Whisperer would be proficient in the language of love and is capable of relating to a Katy Girl.

Should single men aim to be Chick Whisperers? 

Do you think it could change how we mix and mingle on a dating scene that is filled with professional, smart, and strong-willed women?

Should single women become Guy Whisperers for the type of guys that are extremely confident or slightly arrogant?

In relationships, do couples relate to one another using this same concept?

I don’t know if other women have seen it, but I have spotted chivalry walking around Atlanta. It may not look like our mother’s or grandmother’s chivalry because today there are different ways of exhibiting chivalrous behavior.

I generally have men I know (and don’t know) holding doors open for me. However, on my last date with Dennis, he instinctively hopped out of the car, while I sat my cute self in the passenger seat, watching him head to the door to the restaurant. He chuckled as he doubled back, realizing that I fully intended to wait until he came to open the door for me. Yes, I had two working arms, but he drove a big truck and I had on a short skirt - I wanted and needed help getting out. Besides, he helped me into the truck with no prompting from me - why not keep that going?

I admit that it just dawned on me that some men dish out chivalry selectively. Some men decide if a woman is really worthy of his gallant gestures because they don’t want to end up feeling unappreciated.

Although tradition dictates that men should be the chivalrous ones, they still look to women to be considerate in other ways. Guys, what type of chivalry do you like to see from women? What are ways we can reciprocate without making you feel uncomfortable?

Ladies, how do you respond when someone attempts to be chivalrous? Do you think it is genuine most of the time?

How has chivalrous behaviors changed over the years and does it reflect the society we live in today?

Do you think chivalry impacts the dating scene and relationships?

There comes a time in every single person’s dating career when they have to get rejected. It can be a very humbling experience and it’s easy to become discouraged. Men have to deal with rejections more than women simply because they are normally the one pursuing. I know women like to tell the men that their egos are so fragile, but the reality is we are WAY worse than men!

There have been a few men that I miscalculated when trying to figure out if they are my type. It’s funny how I go from drooling at the guy of interest until he brushes me off. Then I find all sorts of things wrong about him: Oh yea??, Well your eyes are too far apart!!

Yes, I am afraid that women can have the same egomaniacal tendencies as men because we are not conditioned to being brushed off, well, at least I am not. Oddly enough, when a guy is kindly letting me down easy, compliments abound, and all my finer points are mentioned. It sure helps to soften the blow! I end up feeling attractive and desirable while I am being dumped! Old admirers rave about my attributes and tell me how beautiful, talented, smart, sassy, funny, dynamic, cute and sweet. (Well, thanks, I guess?). One guy even had the nerve to call me a good catch! (Well, why are you throwing me back). Although I appreciated when guys were kind enough to let me down with compliments, it probably could help to hear the hard honest truth. What turned them off? Why weren’t we compatible? I never, ever ask for this information because…well, my ego! I figure it doesn’t really mean I am the problem per se, I am just not the guy’s forte. Everyone won’t love me! It actually doesn’t even bother me that much unless I was the one that initiated things. <—That is when my ego lands. FLAT!

Dealing with rejection is part of dating that you just can’t escape. You really can’t take it too personally. When I was dating the Cowardly Fireman, I certainly thought that I would be the one to pull a disappearing act on him first. Unfortunately he beat me to it. Despite my attempts to have a final post-relationship wrap-up discussion (translation: him listening to me getting some things off my chest!) , he didn’t even bother to show up to meet me. What a chump! I was so annoyed. I mean what nerve, doesn’t he know I was being generous dating him! Dump me? No, Dump YOU! <— Diva’s ego gets out of control sometimes.

We always want to be the one dishing out rejection because we don’t like it when our egos get deflated. Sometimes things just don’t happen that way. When you get dumped, you have to brush yourself off and move on. There is nothing more annoying then a person who doesn’t deal with rejection well. Instead of going away graciously, they get upset, vindictive, and revengeful. It is NOT a pretty sight to see a woman who refuses to let go and follows her ex around. Honey just let him go. He has clearly moved on and you should to!

How do you deal with rejection in dating?

Do you think our egos are hurdles in the dating scene?

Do you think female egos are more fragile or do guys have it worse than we do?

Are women responsible for helping to perpetuate the “fragile” male ego by giving men too much energy?

Even though we don’t always admit to “judging by the cover” it just becomes a habit for single people. Sometimes it is unavoidable because you can meet someone who goes from Mr/Miss HOT to Mr/Miss NOT! NOT EVER!!!

It happens to all of us. I am sure you guys have spotted some hot girl, maybe at Twist or East Andrews. You find yourself approaching her after some sign that she is receptive to you. You walk over and you break the ice in hopes of getting a feel for her personality - yes ladies, just her personality. She is smiling a lot, maybe even laughing at your corny jokes. Then it happens. She opens her mouth and says the dumbest thing you have ever uttered by any female EVER. You are stunned! You can’t imagine a woman so beautiful could become so, well unattractive! And so fast!

Ladies have you ever gone to a social event, most likely upscale and sophisticated, in the mood to flirt? You manage to end up near some well-dressed, extremely attractive gentleman. You both notice one another at the same time and before long you two are shoulder to shoulder. The traditional greetings and names are exchanged and you start to feel all tingly and flushed. Well within TEN minutes the dude quickly becomes the biggest jerk that you have ever met! You know what is so bizarre? It doesn’t really take many words for their appeal factor to plummet!

Now I really like living and dating in this city. I really do. There are just some really outrageous people roaming around Atlanta giving the rest of us a bad name! Don’t you worry because the Atlanta City Singles blog will help you avoid being part of the problem!

My friend Jackson came up with a few things that would make a woman unattractive to him in ten minutes or less. Of course I could easily think of a few from my own perspective. Check out our list below. I am sure you can decipher his from mine!

Come off like you are snob, conceited or extremely arrogant. Have you ever met someone and they made it seem like you were lucky to even get the opportunity to do so? Oh yeah, tumble attractiveness, tumble. I know a woman who assumes that anytime a man speaks to her, he is trying to run game. Anytime. What I find funny about it is that she’s not attractive…in the first place. Hence, she will blow off nearly any man who even offers her so much as a compliment and assume that he is merely running game.

Bad breath. Yes, halitosis is a real thing. I’m not even sure there needs to be an explanation here. Let’s just say, if nobody wants to talk to you and you look like Halle Berry, either you have a sign on your forehead that says “SARS lives here” or your breathe is beyond reproach. Pop a tic-tac and watch your dating options multiply.

Bring up the fact that you live with your momma. Not much explanation needed here either. I will just suggest that you catch the film Failure to Launch, starring Sarah Jessica Parker and the very hot Matthew McConaughey. It’s packed full of gems relating to this very thing!

Say something dumb. I don’t know about you, but I HATE dumb broads. With the passion of Mel Gibson. I know some folks who like dumb chicks because they are easy, but that is an ultimate turnoff. If I see a fine woman who gets so excited because she just discovered the fact that when you push the button on a pen, the ball point comes out…well, she will get chucked like Taylor. She will become very unattractive, very quickly to me. Dumb girls cannot be fine. It is mentally impossible for me to find dumb women attractive. I would assume that would be the same for men. Of course with the dating pool so shallow nowadays, I assume some women just take what they can get.

Wearing more makeup than the law allows Maybe this is just a personal thing. I don’t mind makeup. But I do mind additional faces created by too much makeup. Maybe I can’t really tell much from afar. Upon closer inspection, you can become very unattractive if I’m not sure whether your face really belongs to you or not. Nothing is scarier than possibly waking up next to a Gremlin. I’m probably not most men, but I’d just pass on that.

Making an inappropriate sexual remark, gesture, or joke - I know this seems like a no-brainer, right? Well, I have met Mr. I Could Sop You Up With a Biscuit way too many times! When a man is licking his lips incessantly staring at you like a piece of meat he starts to look like a dirty old man. Ew.

Now, this is written with humor so spare me the Shallow Atlanta rant. That is an entirely different topic!

Have you ever met someone that appeared to be so attractive at first glance but within a few minutes they were downright scary? How did you handle it?

Can you ever recover from these less then stellar moments?

In your opinion, what could make a person go from so hot, to so not your type?