Atlanta City Singles

One of the great things about dating is the chance to meet people who are different from me. I enjoy learning about different hobbies or unique interests that expose me to something that I may not have discovered otherwise. The process of getting to know someone new can be really exciting, especially if that person is different than anyone who you have met before.? Each dating adventure or misadventure always seem to have some sort of impact on me, some deeper than others. They say that we are the sum of our experiences, and I think that includes dating experiences.

I can flip through my mental rolodex and find an assortment of things that I collected that I still enjoy. I have a deeper appreciation for jazz music after spending time with a musician that educated me about the great history of jazz. I think my taste in music grew up a bit after meeting him.?

I still frequent a Mexican restaurant where a date took me once because they make the absolute best quesadillas I have ever tasted. I met a guy once that had his entire closet color-coded, including shoes. When we were dating, I rearranged my entire closet the same exact way and I loved it.

I remember watching Runaway Bride and laughing so hard at the scene where Julia Robert’s character ate her eggs the same way her current beau did. I was thinking about how I take on the same behavior when I date someone except that I adopt their favorite sports team to root for.

So these are a few things that I have collected from dating cool, interesting people. I imagine that if I were to contact people who spent time with me, they would be able to mention a few interesting things they collected from me as well. So maybe the saying rings true for dating and we really are a sum of all our experiences.

Do you agree? What are some things you have collected from dating, relationships, or marriage?

I don’t know if other women have seen it, but I have spotted chivalry walking around Atlanta. It may not look like our mother’s or grandmother’s chivalry because today there are different ways of exhibiting chivalrous behavior.

I generally have men I know (and don’t know) holding doors open for me. However, on my last date with Dennis, he instinctively hopped out of the car, while I sat my cute self in the passenger seat, watching him head to the door to the restaurant. He chuckled as he doubled back, realizing that I fully intended to wait until he came to open the door for me. Yes, I had two working arms, but he drove a big truck and I had on a short skirt - I wanted and needed help getting out. Besides, he helped me into the truck with no prompting from me - why not keep that going?

I admit that it just dawned on me that some men dish out chivalry selectively. Some men decide if a woman is really worthy of his gallant gestures because they don’t want to end up feeling unappreciated.

Although tradition dictates that men should be the chivalrous ones, they still look to women to be considerate in other ways. Guys, what type of chivalry do you like to see from women? What are ways we can reciprocate without making you feel uncomfortable?

Ladies, how do you respond when someone attempts to be chivalrous? Do you think it is genuine most of the time?

How has chivalrous behaviors changed over the years and does it reflect the society we live in today?

Do you think chivalry impacts the dating scene and relationships?

I remember listening to Britney Spear’s Toxic song the first time and laughing at the line ?A guy like you should wear a warning? because my friends and I always say these exact words after a dating misadventure. That guy should have had a warning label on him!!

Danger: This man is prone to become jealous of your male friends that pose no threat.

Caution: This man has the worst bedroom skills ever.

Beware: This man has the best bedroom skills ever. You will become disillusioned and dazed, enter at your own risk.

Alert!: This man has the personality of a lobotomized turkey.

After hearing about the experiences of my guy friends I think they would have plenty of warning labels they could put on their misadventures too:

Warning: She may look sane but this woman will stalk you if you don?t return her calls in the time frame that she prefers.

Beware: This woman will vandalize your car when you try to break up with her.

Alert! She may claim to have awesome culinary skills but she really is seeking a guinea pig to test her food on. She is no Nigella.

Caution: She will want to start picking out wedding invitations and china patterns within one week of meeting you.

Warning: She has a psychotic ex-boyfriend that will threaten your life if you date her.

Wouldn?t it be cool if there were warning labels to save us the trouble of finding out the hard way that someone is wrong for us?

It would also be interesting if we had ?good warning labels? that would be like an engaging preview to the coming attractions of a wonderful movie. Good warning signs would tell all the great things you have to offer someone who is deserving of your best.

Caution: Fiercely loyal. Will motivate and support your dreams and won?t let you give up on them.

Beware: Has a tendency to relentlessly pursue your happiness.

Danger: Has the staying power to endure hardships, drama and refuses to give up on your relationship.

Alert: Hopeless romantic with the propensity to whisk you away on secret rendezvous or surprise you with sweet acts of love.

The reality is that some people would not pay attention to the ?danger? warnings even if they were flashing neon signs. A lot of times we go into situations with hopes that the warning signs are either not really there, or not THAT bad. We usually end up regretting this and often times we can look back and pin point the precise moment when we should have walked away. Despite all the blatantly obvious warning signs we stayed in hopes that the person would turn out to be The One. Hopefully, you learn from these situations so you won?t be doomed to repeat the same mistakes and ignore the warning labels if and when they emerge again.

Warning labels may not be written on a post-it note and smacked on a person?s forehead, but they are there. They are implied and inferred through behavior, actions, comments, and dialogue. It is up to you to figure out the warning signs when they first appear. You just have to address it directly, ask questions, and probe further past the superficial things that initially attracted you to the person. It may take some time but it would be well worth it to find out sooner rather than later.

What are some good and bad warning labels that you would place on people you have dated or married? What are some good and bad warning labels you would put on yourself: be honest!

There comes a time in every single person’s dating career when they have to get rejected. It can be a very humbling experience and it’s easy to become discouraged. Men have to deal with rejections more than women simply because they are normally the one pursuing. I know women like to tell the men that their egos are so fragile, but the reality is we are WAY worse than men!

There have been a few men that I miscalculated when trying to figure out if they are my type. It’s funny how I go from drooling at the guy of interest until he brushes me off. Then I find all sorts of things wrong about him: Oh yea??, Well your eyes are too far apart!!

Yes, I am afraid that women can have the same egomaniacal tendencies as men because we are not conditioned to being brushed off, well, at least I am not. Oddly enough, when a guy is kindly letting me down easy, compliments abound, and all my finer points are mentioned. It sure helps to soften the blow! I end up feeling attractive and desirable while I am being dumped! Old admirers rave about my attributes and tell me how beautiful, talented, smart, sassy, funny, dynamic, cute and sweet. (Well, thanks, I guess?). One guy even had the nerve to call me a good catch! (Well, why are you throwing me back). Although I appreciated when guys were kind enough to let me down with compliments, it probably could help to hear the hard honest truth. What turned them off? Why weren’t we compatible? I never, ever ask for this information because…well, my ego! I figure it doesn’t really mean I am the problem per se, I am just not the guy’s forte. Everyone won’t love me! It actually doesn’t even bother me that much unless I was the one that initiated things. <—That is when my ego lands. FLAT!

Dealing with rejection is part of dating that you just can’t escape. You really can’t take it too personally. When I was dating the Cowardly Fireman, I certainly thought that I would be the one to pull a disappearing act on him first. Unfortunately he beat me to it. Despite my attempts to have a final post-relationship wrap-up discussion (translation: him listening to me getting some things off my chest!) , he didn’t even bother to show up to meet me. What a chump! I was so annoyed. I mean what nerve, doesn’t he know I was being generous dating him! Dump me? No, Dump YOU! <— Diva’s ego gets out of control sometimes.

We always want to be the one dishing out rejection because we don’t like it when our egos get deflated. Sometimes things just don’t happen that way. When you get dumped, you have to brush yourself off and move on. There is nothing more annoying then a person who doesn’t deal with rejection well. Instead of going away graciously, they get upset, vindictive, and revengeful. It is NOT a pretty sight to see a woman who refuses to let go and follows her ex around. Honey just let him go. He has clearly moved on and you should to!

How do you deal with rejection in dating?

Do you think our egos are hurdles in the dating scene?

Do you think female egos are more fragile or do guys have it worse than we do?

Are women responsible for helping to perpetuate the “fragile” male ego by giving men too much energy?

Even though we don’t always admit to “judging by the cover” it just becomes a habit for single people. Sometimes it is unavoidable because you can meet someone who goes from Mr/Miss HOT to Mr/Miss NOT! NOT EVER!!!

It happens to all of us. I am sure you guys have spotted some hot girl, maybe at Twist or East Andrews. You find yourself approaching her after some sign that she is receptive to you. You walk over and you break the ice in hopes of getting a feel for her personality - yes ladies, just her personality. She is smiling a lot, maybe even laughing at your corny jokes. Then it happens. She opens her mouth and says the dumbest thing you have ever uttered by any female EVER. You are stunned! You can’t imagine a woman so beautiful could become so, well unattractive! And so fast!

Ladies have you ever gone to a social event, most likely upscale and sophisticated, in the mood to flirt? You manage to end up near some well-dressed, extremely attractive gentleman. You both notice one another at the same time and before long you two are shoulder to shoulder. The traditional greetings and names are exchanged and you start to feel all tingly and flushed. Well within TEN minutes the dude quickly becomes the biggest jerk that you have ever met! You know what is so bizarre? It doesn’t really take many words for their appeal factor to plummet!

Now I really like living and dating in this city. I really do. There are just some really outrageous people roaming around Atlanta giving the rest of us a bad name! Don’t you worry because the Atlanta City Singles blog will help you avoid being part of the problem!

My friend Jackson came up with a few things that would make a woman unattractive to him in ten minutes or less. Of course I could easily think of a few from my own perspective. Check out our list below. I am sure you can decipher his from mine!

Come off like you are snob, conceited or extremely arrogant. Have you ever met someone and they made it seem like you were lucky to even get the opportunity to do so? Oh yeah, tumble attractiveness, tumble. I know a woman who assumes that anytime a man speaks to her, he is trying to run game. Anytime. What I find funny about it is that she’s not attractive…in the first place. Hence, she will blow off nearly any man who even offers her so much as a compliment and assume that he is merely running game.

Bad breath. Yes, halitosis is a real thing. I’m not even sure there needs to be an explanation here. Let’s just say, if nobody wants to talk to you and you look like Halle Berry, either you have a sign on your forehead that says “SARS lives here” or your breathe is beyond reproach. Pop a tic-tac and watch your dating options multiply.

Bring up the fact that you live with your momma. Not much explanation needed here either. I will just suggest that you catch the film Failure to Launch, starring Sarah Jessica Parker and the very hot Matthew McConaughey. It’s packed full of gems relating to this very thing!

Say something dumb. I don’t know about you, but I HATE dumb broads. With the passion of Mel Gibson. I know some folks who like dumb chicks because they are easy, but that is an ultimate turnoff. If I see a fine woman who gets so excited because she just discovered the fact that when you push the button on a pen, the ball point comes out…well, she will get chucked like Taylor. She will become very unattractive, very quickly to me. Dumb girls cannot be fine. It is mentally impossible for me to find dumb women attractive. I would assume that would be the same for men. Of course with the dating pool so shallow nowadays, I assume some women just take what they can get.

Wearing more makeup than the law allows Maybe this is just a personal thing. I don’t mind makeup. But I do mind additional faces created by too much makeup. Maybe I can’t really tell much from afar. Upon closer inspection, you can become very unattractive if I’m not sure whether your face really belongs to you or not. Nothing is scarier than possibly waking up next to a Gremlin. I’m probably not most men, but I’d just pass on that.

Making an inappropriate sexual remark, gesture, or joke - I know this seems like a no-brainer, right? Well, I have met Mr. I Could Sop You Up With a Biscuit way too many times! When a man is licking his lips incessantly staring at you like a piece of meat he starts to look like a dirty old man. Ew.

Now, this is written with humor so spare me the Shallow Atlanta rant. That is an entirely different topic!

Have you ever met someone that appeared to be so attractive at first glance but within a few minutes they were downright scary? How did you handle it?

Can you ever recover from these less then stellar moments?

In your opinion, what could make a person go from so hot, to so not your type?

Modern day dating has definitely brought new and interesting ways to mix and mingle. It’s not your mother and father’s dating scene! Gone are the days where the gentleman caller comes to a woman’s home to meet the family and sits in the parlor for a first date.

These days we live in the “microwave” society where everything is instant, including dating! Speed dating events are all the rage now. This means you have about 60 seconds to impress someone, and 9 minutes to convince someone you are date worthy! Have you ever tried a speed dating event?

While I haven’t done speed dating, yet, I have tried a lock and key party. If you haven’t had the pleasure of one of these events, it is really a singles mixer. The women are given locks and the men are given keys. The goal is to have men put their *ahem* key in the female’s lock to see if it unlocks. If it does, you both win a prize. No, not the pleasure of each other’s company, a CASH PRIZE! So imagine a bunch of single people running around trying to get a $50 dollar gift certificate to Red Lobster or $100 cash. It felt like there was a bounty on my head! At one point, the guys just came up and put their key in my lock without even bothering with the small talk!

Well, I won’t be going to another lock and key event, but I am going to try speed dating. There is one scheduled for June 15 at the Leopard Lounge. The event is being sponsored by DateSwitch.com and they promise that you can come back again for free if you don’t meet someone nice. Not a bad deal, right?

Can I really impress a guy in ten minutes or less? Who knows, but I am willing to give it a try.

Hello my sweeties!
Welcome to the brand spanking new blog “Atlanta City Singles” on the fabulous Home Turf Media network. My name is Dating Diva (DD) and I am here to share my dating, mating, and mingling experiences with you. Living in Atlanta can be quite fun, especially when you are unattached! “Hotlanta” has plenty of places to go to meet other single people, you just have to know the hot spots.

If you want to meet great new singles that share similar interests, you HAVE to get out of the house. Mr. Wonderful or Ms. Right will not just fall out of the sky! I wish it were that easy. So I will be your guide to help you navigate the streets of Atlanta as a not-so desperately seeking single!

A little about me: I am a 34 year-old single woman living in a really cool intown neighborhood. I have a degree in Biology, and a masters in Biotechnology. I work for a local school system and I am a freelance writer for Atlanta Journal Constitution’s website (they call me Wise over there). I first dabbled in blogging in 2004 and I am completely hooked! It’s a great way to meet new people, hear about other people’s experiences, and vent to each other! Free therapy, anyone?

I hope you will enjoy the Atlanta City Singles website. I will give you creative date ideas, tell you about upcoming events where single people are likely to be found, and bring you reports from events geared towards single people. So let’s get out there and mingle!

Feel free to leave a comment and let me know the places you have found in Atlanta to meet other singles. Are you tired of the bar scene? Where do you meet potential dates?